def leppard simply the best jokes page! lol lmfo haha !This is a featured page

THE   JOKERS  PAGE WANT A LAUGH ? THIS IS THE JOKE PAGE WHERE WE AND ALL SHARE A JOKE OR TWO, LOL! HAHAHAH!




a man pull his wife into the bed room
and rips all her clothes off
"now darling , do a hand stand against the full
length mirror onthe wall"
"hmm she thinks !"
"kinny ".....ilike it
she dose a handstandand her husband opens her legs and puts his
chin on her privates ,
" THE BOYS DOWN THE PUB WHERE RIGHT " he says
"A GOATIE WOULD SUIT ME"....................


jesus goes to a brothel while peter waits outside.
after a while jesus walks out.
"how was it " asked peter
"rubbish," says jesus,
" i pulled down her knickes off ,
stared rubbing her fanny
and the ******** thing healed up!"


what do you call a chinese woman who can
lick her own
jack ,"n"danny?

won-long tung




saw an scarecrow having a wank in a field today.
i thought, that poor barstard
he,s just cluching at
straws!



a girl ask her doctor " how many calories are in ***?"
the docter replys," honey don,t worry if sowllow no bloke
will care if your fat "



a man shaging his new
girlfriend, notices a photo of another man on her bed side
tabble.
he asks her is your ex hubby?
NO
she replies.
well is it a an old boyfriend then ?
No silly she says !
Dad or brother?
no, no she ansaws.
WELL WHO THE **** IS IT THEN ?
he demands .
she replies
" IT,S ME 6 months a go !




how many animals can you fit in to a ladys pair of jeans?
2 calfs
1 beaver
1ass
1 pusssy
countless hares
the occassional ****
and the fish no one can find



a little girl girl went in to a pet shop
and asked
excuthe me ,do you haf any widdle wabbits?
the shopkepper,s heart melted,he got down on his knees
so that he was on her leavel
and siad do you want a widdle white wabbit or a thoft bwack wabbit?
orthat widdle bwown one over there?

the little girl blushed
rocked on her heels, put her hand on her knees leaned forward and
whispered "i dont wealy fink my
pyfon gives a

****



a little girl goes to the barbers with her farther and stand next to the chair eatting a cake while her dad get his hair cut .
the barber smiles at her and says your gonna get hair on your muffin.:
i know says the girl
igonna get **** too you dirty old sod



A Slightly Confused Teenager( a but blue sorry bit it,s a good one lol ) A teenager comes home from school and asks her mother "Is
it true what Rita just told me? Babies come out of the same
place where boys put their dicks?"
"Yes, dear" replies her mother, pleased that
the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have
to explain it to her daughter.
"But then when I have a baby, " responded the
teenager "won't it knock my teeth out?"


someone once said when a black man becomes president
pigs will fly;
sure enough 100days latter" swine flew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Paddy’s girlfriend gets a tattoo of a seashell
on her inner thigh
Paddy thinks it amazing cos if you put you ear to it
You can smell the sea!





The Two Nuns

Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits.
After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits, and paint naked.
In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door.
"Who is it ?" calls one of the nuns.
"Blind man", replies a voice from the other side of the door.
The two nuns look at each other and shrug, both deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door.
"Nice boobs," says the man, "Where do you want the blinds ?"


snooker legend steve davis stands at the end of the bed
studying his naked wife from every single angle,
he walks slowly around the bed ,

crouches down with one eye shut,
afer a minite he says " ok love turn over and repeats the entire process,
afer a few minites more
his wife says " steve what the **** are you doing !"



he replies" just deciding whether to take it easy on the pink
or tight on the brown !"



steven gately is going to be cremated in a tin foil
coffin with the lid slightly open.
apparently
this is the best way to cook faggots !





An elephant asks a camel, 'Why are your breasts on your back?'
'Well,' says the camel, 'I think that is a strange question from
somebody whose dick is on his face.'








just got a ricky hatten toaster,
its no good wont even do two rounds!





A FOOTBALL MATCH BETWEEN INDIA AND PAKISTAN HAD TO BEABANDONED AFTER
A PLAYER WAS GIVEN A RED CARD AND 50,000 FANS RUN ON TO THE PITCH
THINKING IT WAS A
BRITISH PASSPORT LOL







paddy and jimmy need a drink, they pool all their money but only have 50p
paddy takes the cash in to the buchers and buys a sausage.
They go in to a bar and order 2 pints of bear and down them ,
before the barman asks them for the cash ,paddy puts the sausage into his fly &
jimmy sucks it .
the bar man disguste, throws them out in to the street in t
in the 10th pub jimmy says i can do this any more my knees are killing me ,
paddy replies, netither can i,!

ilost the sausage in the 2nd pub.....

haha¬lol!




a man goes to the doctors for a **** extention.
doc surggests baby elephants trunk
stitched on for£3000,
the man agrees,and 6weeks
while having dinner with a new date
he feels an unusual stirring in his pants
and thiks this is his night!!
while chatting over dinner his **** flys out, and steals
an apple off the table
wow the she says can; you do that again?
the man says my **** can
but i don,t think my arse can take another apple.!!!!




"This guy is trying really hard to get his dad to move into a nursing home, but he just won't go. The son says, 'I've been there and checked it out. It's really nice.' But the dad won't have it so the son says, 'Just go for a week' and the father agrees. The father moves into this nursing home and wakes up on the first morning with a big old boner on. This nurse walks in, sees it and she's like, 'Hmm. Mr. Jones, we'll have to see what we can do about that.' So she gives him a *******. He gets on the phone to his son and says, 'I love this place. I'm staying here.' And the son's like, 'That's great news.'

The second day, he gets up, puts his dressing gown on, and walks down the corridor to the toilet and trips over this bit of carpet. As he goes flying forward, his dressing gown flies up over his head, and his ass is sticking up in the air. This male nurse comes around the corner, has a look and says, 'Oh wow', unzips his trousers and rogers him from behind. So the father gets on the phone to his son and says, 'Get me out of here right now. I'm not staying here a minute longer.' His son says, 'But I spoke to you yesterday and you were totally enjoying it. The nurse gave you a ******* and everything.' The dad replies, 'Yeah, but I've been weighing up the pros and cons. I get a stiffy about once every six months, but I fall over about seven times a day."






























by Donna
Sometimes, we try too hard to get to the greener grass. In the process, we end up in trouble...
And when you find yourself in trouble and you're stuck in a situation that you can't get out of,
there is one thing you should always remember.......

Not everyone who shows up.......
Is there to help you!!!!



ronnie.a,deffan
ronnie.a,deffan
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